I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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