Where is the hickey?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
