I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.