She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!