I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
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I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES