after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
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its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
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I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM