I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
