what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.