WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
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So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
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I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
The air was thick with penises
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.