the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
