Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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