...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I want her autograph on my taint
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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