It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
