I just made out with a guy for $7.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
