Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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