Non-Jews are for practice
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
