did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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