I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
