I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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