you guys were way drunker than both of me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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