I think im going to throw up on grandma
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
