i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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