Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
