I just made out with a guy for $7.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
