Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
