Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
