Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
