How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
