Dude my mom stole all your condoms
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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