so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
