is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
