dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
