Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so let's talk penis.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
