I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Come share oat with me in your robe
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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