Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
