Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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