Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize