I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize