we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
In other news, I just burned my penis
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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