yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
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She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
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My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize