Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
