You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
