she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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