It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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