Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
