I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i think i have herpe
just one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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