R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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