YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
