I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
