i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
