I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
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He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
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I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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