Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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