I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
