Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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