UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
