I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
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My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
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you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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