Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
