two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
