there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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