the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize