Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
