Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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