I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
