I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
