he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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