I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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