Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
