I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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