Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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