I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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