I want to stick my p in your. b.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
