remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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